12 things you should do when you separate
Divorce or separation can be an emotionally challenging and overwhelming experience. Whether it's the end of a marriage or a long-term relationship, the process of separation requires careful navigation and thoughtful steps to ensure a smooth transition into a new chapter of life. In this blog, we'll explore some essential things to consider when you find yourself facing separation and divorce.
1. Protect your safety
Protecting your safety in family law proceedings is an absolute priority. Family law cases can involve emotionally charged situations that may escalate to threats or even physical harm. Whether you're dealing with divorce, child custody disputes, or domestic violence issues, taking proactive steps to safeguard your safety is crucial. This includes obtaining restraining orders or protective orders when necessary, documenting instances of abuse or harassment, and having a safety plan in place. 1800RESPECT is available for free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to support people impacted by domestic or family violence.
2. Allow yourself to grieve
Separation involves loss, and it's important to give yourself permission to grieve. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise, whether it's sadness, anger, confusion, or relief. Suppressing these emotions can hinder the healing process. Seek support from friends, family, or even a therapist who can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings.
3. Prioritise self-care
During times of separation, self-care becomes more crucial than ever. Pay attention to your physical and emotional needs. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's reading, exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. Nourishing your body and mind will help you build resilience and cope with the challenges ahead.
4. Seek professional support
Therapists and counsellors can offer valuable guidance and support as you navigate through the complexities of separation. They can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies. Therapy can be a powerful tool for healing and moving forward with clarity.
5. Adjust your parenting arrangements
The most important decisions you make when going through separation are related to your children. Separation is a difficult and emotional time for everyone, but it is vital that steps are taken to reduce the impact on the children involved. Work together to establish a parenting plan that serves their best interests. Keep the lines of communication open with your co-parent, and be flexible and cooperative to ensure a stable environment for your children during this transition.
If they are school age, make sure you let the school know so they have contact details for both parents and who they should call in an emergency. If there is a new schedule for the children's living arrangements communicate with the school so they are clear on the responsibilities of each parent.
6. Update your passwords
You might have some shared accounts with your ex or you may have shared passwords in the past. It’s a good idea to go through all of your accounts and update the passwords so you have privacy moving forward. Some of the places to start would be your email, social media, loyalty cards, your computer or other devices.
Another thing to consider is were you sharing your location? It’s a good idea to check your location settings in Find My Phone, or apps like Life360 or Family 360. This will ensure your privacy moving forward.
7. Organise your finances
If the separation involves shared financial responsibilities, it's essential to assess your financial situation. Create a clear overview of your assets, debts, and expenses. This will help you make informed decisions about how to divide assets and responsibilities. If you shared accounts, consider opening a bank account and credit card in your own name.
8. Protect your important documents.
It’s also a good idea to protect your important papers such as passports and birth certificates. In the midst of a separation, maintaining control over these documents ensures that you can navigate legal and administrative matters smoothly. Furthermore, protecting these papers prevents potential misuse by the other party, safeguarding your personal information and security.
9. Take some notes or make a diary.
Your head is probably spinning with a lot to think about, key dates and conversations may get lost. It's important to note your separation date as this will impact when you can file for divorce and any claims for child support down the track. Try to note down any important dates or conversations as these may be referred to as you complete your divorce.
10. Update your Will
It is important to review your estate planning documents if you separate or divorce as not doing so can have significant consequences and can leave your assets in the hands of someone that you no longer trust or wish to hold your assets.
A divorce will revoke clauses in your Will appointing your former spouse as an executor and beneficiary. However, you should consider making a new Will when you separate to ensure that the Will appoints a new executor and new beneficiaries.
For more information on the importance of updating your will please refer to our article. Why it's important to update your Estate Plan when you separate or divorce:
11. Update your super death binding nomination
A superannuation death benefit nomination is a legally binding document that outlines your wishes regarding the distribution of your superannuation in the event of your death. A common misconception that people have is that your super is included in your Will or Estate Plan. This is incorrect and in the event of separation or divorce, you should contact your super fund to update your super death benefit nomination.
By updating your nomination, you can ensure that your superannuation is distributed according to your wishes. Without an updated nomination, your super fund might be legally obligated to distribute the benefits to your previous partner, even if you had intended otherwise.
12. Get some legal advice
Getting divorced is tough, you’re confronted with major decisions that will affect your future, and you need to make those decisions at a time when you may feel least able. However, it's important to address the situation promptly rather than prolong the process. It’s a good idea to seek legal advice early so you know your rights. You’ll need a divorce lawyer who’s sensitive and understanding about your situation, and who will work hard to achieve the best possible result for you.
At Orman Solicitors we believe that knowledge is power and we pride ourselves on providing reliable, trustworthy services, and compassion and empathy in everything we do. No matter what your circumstances, our team always has the best interests of our clients in mind, and we’ll strive to be an advocate for you and your rights.
If you are ready to sit down with our solicitors to discuss your matter, give us a call to book your complimentary 15 minute consultation to determine the best course of action you should take.